There’s no such thing as a first impression – and in the world of online dating, that means your photo and biography.
Granted, photos are the first thing most people look at, but for the purposes of this article, let’s focus on the written part of a profile.
Talking about yourself isn’t just difficult, it’s also a tricky process where you try to highlight the seemingly attractive parts of your personality and the most interesting hobbies in an effort to make yourself attractive to people. potential matches.
The problem is that there is no fact checking when it comes to dating sites and apps. You could falsely claim that you’ve skydived, dived with sharks (who would do that?) or traveled to distant lands, and who’s going to stop you?
But beyond the lies and exaggerations, writing is a talent that not everyone has. The most interesting people in the world — or more importantly, someone who could be your perfect match — may not be the best at expressing their personality, interests, and passions effectively on their dating profile.
Since scouring dating websites and apps for a living, I’ve seen the best of the best and the worst of the worst in self-written bios. (Don’t even get me started on the one-word answers to the questions or the complete lack of “message bait”.) But often someone paints a wonderful picture, working in humor as well as personality, only for you to click online and go on a date to find there’s no spark.
Even if you’ve been texting for weeks, with a smooth conversation and apparently having a lot in common, you won’t really know if there’s any potential for a relationship until you meet face to face.
Behind the profile is a real person…and just because the person isn’t a novelist doesn’t mean you should immediately swipe left or move on to the next person.
If you come across a profile that doesn’t give you much to work with but something about the person is intriguing – maybe they live in the same neighborhood or mention a band you really like – my advice would be to send a message and see what happens. Maybe they’ll engage in a conversation (I think many would agree that it’s much easier to have a two-way discussion rather than writing an essay about yourself) and eager to get together. meet in person, where you can really get a feel if there’s chemistry between you.
People are busy. People want to take an easy path. People have different talents, and sometimes writing isn’t one of them. While a well-written biography is definitely a good sign because it means the person has put a lot of thought and effort into the starting point of their love life, self-talk is difficult and not where a lot of lovely people will shine. .
Instead of giving up hope right away, go the extra mile to take the first step. You might be surprised at what you find.
Erika Ettin is the founder of A Little Nudge, where she helps others navigate the often daunting world of online dating. Want to get in touch with Erika? Join his newsletter, eepurl.com/dpHcH for updates and tips.